There is no doubt about it, I am obsessed with food. I wake up thinking about food. I’m eating breakfast wondering about what I will eat for snack. When I’m eating snack, I’m daydreaming about lunch. You get my drift. OBSESSION. I have sometimes wished I could be obsessed with something besides food. Anything…just to take my mind off food. Of course, now that I have a new obsession, I’m wondering if it is even more dangerous than my love affair with food.  Meet my new obsession. It’s called Pandora. Pandora jewelry is probably most recognized for their patented, customizable charm bracelets. Or at least that’s how my obsession with Pandora began. This obsession started in December 2008 when I received my first Pandora Bracelet and a few charms. Now, my obsession with Pandora is really out of control. In fact, in less than 9 months, I have completely filled 3 (yes, 3) Pandora bracelets. That is thousands of dollars worth of heaven. I can’t help it. I am addicted.

This weekend my sister and I went to our favorite jewelry store. I spent entirely too much money on Pandora jewelry. In fact, I spent an obscene amount of money. I keep telling myself “At least this obsession is calorie-free”. :0) My shopping spree got me to thinking…Why do I have to do everything in excess? I spend money in excess and I eat in excess. My two favorite things-food and shopping. I’m starting to see a pattern here. It’s just that I feel so much better when I eat and shop. It’s afterward that I feel guilty. Perhaps I need therapy. Just a thought.  Surely there is some underlying reason I do this?  Is this normal? Hmm…Any suggestions for lunch? (see, I’m already thinking about lunch!)

Until I decide how to handle my obsessions, I’m off to eat a snack, read my new cookbook, shop on ebay and try on my new shoes.  Oh, and admire my extremely expensive new Pandora bracelet.

Okay, I have not made any progress.  In fact, I have actually gained weight since my declaration to lose weight.  Go figure.  This is a little something I like to call “SELF-SABOTAGE”!!  I do it every time.  But I really need to get serious.  My motivation is a 6 on a scale of 10.  Not nearly enough to get up off the couch and participate in exercise.  However, a 6 puts me on the couch watching other people exercise.  That is at least a start, right?  :0)  So, since I have made no progress, I have decided to give up fast food!  This should, hopefully, FORCE me to eat better.  I now find myself eating junk every single day.  This is really not like me.  Fast food is not that great.  In fact, I usually loathe it anyway.  It’s just that I eat there to save time.  I’ve been so busy and so stressed that I just don’t want to prepare a healthy meal when I get home.  Pathetic, I know.  Today I turn over a new leaf.  I’m staying out of the fast food joints!  I’m going to continue to walk (I walked 3 miles yesterday!) and I’m going to start packing my lunch.  This really should help.

I’m also starting a food journal.  I honestly have no idea how many calories I consume everyday.  In the past I have not had a great deal of luck keeping a food journal.  I’m already pressed for time.  Adding one more thing could push me over the edge!  But, as least I’m going to make an attempt to do it.  I’ll let you know how that goes.

MINUS 1!! I’ll take it!  I was happy to see my weight drop, even if only a pound.  I had a fun, relaxing weekend and did not think much of food (or exercise).  On Saturday I went to the local pool.  I must admit, I was a little uncomfortable to be back in my bathing suit.  However, once I arrived at the pool, I realized about 50% of the people there were overweight.  I guess I’m not in this boat alone.  However, I want out before it SINKS!!

Sunday I went shopping with my Mom and son.  My Mom insisted on buying my son some school clothes which was incredibly nice of her!  I’m not sure she realizes I’m and adult yet…really.  She even asked me if I needed lunch money this week.  HELLO…I’m 35.  I’ve been buying my lunch for quite some time.  It’s sweet though.  I’m not complaining.  It’s nice to know that if I did need something, she would be there.

I packed my lunch this morning, but walked out the door and forgot it.  Typical. So much for being an adult!  Now, I’m at work, starving!!  I’m gonna try to hold out until 10.  Then I can eat a protein bar (it’s great to work for a company where I have unlimited amounts of healthy, yummy snacks).  I wished I took advantage of that more often.

Gotta run (not literally, although I should).

Yep…you guessed it…still fat.  I’m not sure what I was expecting when I stepped on the scales this morning.  Perphaps something in a 2-3 pounds down range.  I did manage to purchase a great pair of sneakers for only $50 bucks-cute, I must say.  However, they are still in the trunk of my car, unworn.  I wanted to go walking yesterday.  Really, I did.  It’s just that I wanted to sit on the couch more.  Hmmm…not really off to a good exercise program, but, I have at least tried to eat less and eat better.

Today during my lunch hour, I went shopping.  I figured I could at least try to keep my mind off of eating.  I also went walking during my afternoon break.  I must admit, I enjoyed it.  I’m not sure why I don’t do it more often.  Tonight I plan on eating light…maybe a grilled chicken salad.  I’m going to sit down this weekend and plan my meals for the next week.  This will surely keep me on track, right.

Until next time…

My God…are the scales right? What am I thinking? Of course not! How could I have gained 15 pounds in 1 month? Hmm…  Now that I think of it, I guess I have been eating too much…way too much.   Depressing. I’ve been under a great deal of stress lately.  No excuse.  My eating is out of control.  It doesn’t help that I just got a text message from my sweetheart asking what kind of doughnuts I want from Krispy Kreme (he works for their corporation). Eat doughnuts?   Not after today!  Fat chance.

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